Helpful Suggestions for the Introverted Bride

Are you a person who tends to find noisy, busy social situations emotionally and physically draining? Do you find yourself quiet and reserved in large groups of unfamiliar people? Have people told you that you are more self-aware or thoughtful than the average individual? Do you value your alone time and enjoy doing most of your favorite things in solitude? Do you excel at your job because it provides you with a great deal of independence? If so, you are displaying some of the characteristic signs of introversion.

While introverts can and do socialize, they tend to stick with a small group of intimate friends. For the introverted bride-to-be, the idea of being the center of attention and forced to engage with hundreds of people at their wedding might be terror-inducing. If you’ve recently become engaged and are experiencing cold sweats at the overwhelming responsibility of planning your day and dealing with vendors, guests, and extended family, you may want to read ahead at some suggestions we’ve gathered for making your day as wonderful for you as possible.

Keep the wedding small. One introverted bride indicated that she kept her wedding guest list to people could encounter on public transit and know by name and face. While many brides believe that bigger is better, introverted brides may find that a smaller wedding is more suitable for their personality. This may mean telling your mother that you don’t intend to invite all of her third cousins twice removed (that she haven’t seen in years!) or eliminating your father’s business or golf buddies from the guest list.

Whatever parameters you and your intended spouse decide, be sure to let those who are helping you plan and organize the event know that this is not something you want, but something you need to be happy on your special day. Follow a process for creating your guest list to ensure that you have effectively, kindly edit the list in a way that is mindful of not only your wishes but those of your partner and your respective families.

Choose a comfortable venue. Introverts often find that there is a place where they are most comfortable and at peace. If you and your partner love the water, you may choose to plan a low-key wedding on the beach, at a lake, or on a riverboat.  If you feel most like yourself in the outdoors, plan a backyard wedding or get married at the nearest park. There are no rules about where a wedding must take place, so find the spot allows you to feel at ease and at your best.

Remember that venues can also help you limit the amount of time you have for the ceremony and celebration, ensuring that the festivities don’t go on past their expiration time. This is a welcome relief for those brides who are exhausted at the prospect of entertaining their guests for hours. Consider alternatives to evening weddings if partying all night does not sound like fun. Morning or afternoon weddings followed by a chic brunch or lunch may be a perfect fit for your wedding day timeline.

Consider unconventional entrances. Introverted brides may feel self-conscious when all eyes are on them. So while it is common for the bride to be escorted by their parent or enter the reception with her spouse, there is nothing written in stone that indicates the bride must be announced everywhere she goes. If proclaiming your presence is less than appealing, consider alternative ways of joining the celebration after pictures. Sharing the spotlight with your entire entourage might be one way, or just walking in hand-in-hand without an announcement might be another.

Let your partner take the lead. If you’ve chosen an extroverted groom, you may want to allow him to take on some of the roles traditionally left to the bride. This can include communicating with the wedding planner,  as well as directing people and orchestrating the details on the big day. If neither you nor your spouse is interested in this, find a friend or family member who wants some added responsibility. You may be surprised at those around you who understand your need to stay low-key throughout the day, and who may be willing to help make your day pleasant and fulfilling.

Keep “you” time at the forefront. Introverts need more alone or quiet time to re-energize from how social situations drain their energy. There is nothing in the bride handbook that says that shopping for the perfect bridesmaid dress has to be an all-day social event or that a bachelorette party has to include a bar full of strangers. Be sure to decide what you want to do with your friends and family during the wedding planning period, but remember that there is nothing wrong with shopping for some things online or making wedding favors at home by yourself. You may also want to consider some alternatives to bridal showers that include some of your favorite quiet activities like painting, gardening, or a social cause.

Are you an introverted bride? What are you planning that might work for others? Feel free to share here.